PIG's sty

Rainbow comes after the rain

2011-03-17T00:14:00.002+08:00

Hopefully my rainbow is coming out..
cause it has been raining and raining and raining for years..

Cant forgive, cant forget

2011-03-11T23:49:00.003+08:00

Everything is just too late.. just too late..

what if i never led my life like this?
i may not have known you, may not feel so lost now..

but still i am glad that i have, even if its not alot, time spent with you..

wishes...

2010-12-19T22:22:00.002+08:00

Guess sometimes i am just lucky..
sheer lucky that you actually would talk to me..
make me feel better..

thanks..
thanks..
thanks..
i cant say all the thanks i have for you..

i just wanna say..
I love You...
and you mean alot to me..

drifting..

2010-11-23T23:14:00.001+08:00

times just passes..
people just come and go..

just like how you left..
you told me we could stay like what we are..
but you started to move away..
and i just cant feel your presence anymore..

Life is just full of lies..

Concentrate..

2010-11-16T22:51:00.001+08:00

guess i just need to concentrate on what i need to get done...

stop thinking of those things that would never happen..
hopefully i can really do it..

hmmm...

2010-11-14T23:59:00.001+08:00

Guess i am just wierd...

why cant i just be happy like how the rest are?
we have won, but yet, it seems to me like i have lost..
lost everything..

what do i really want..?

worried...

2010-11-04T09:57:00.002+08:00

So worried for her..
even thou she doesn't want me to do anything for her..
but i feel so guilty,
being unable to do anything for her..

come on brain.. THINK!!!!
what can you do for her?
without her asking for it..

difference?!?!

2010-10-30T23:42:00.001+08:00

it just seems as though nothing have changed...

i am still living in the days..
that i thought was suppose to be over..
at least for now..

but the practical world is never like what we imagine..

moodless

2010-10-28T22:38:00.000+08:00

days has passed..
but tomorrow still seems so far..
just 2 more days..
endure..

BORING!!!

2010-10-23T21:55:00.001+08:00

Time pass like super duper slowly.. since yesterday's 4.45pm..
when i received a miss call..

that is when time really slowed down.. a min seems like an hour to me...

argh... hate it..
hope it would be over soon.. =(

Words..

2010-10-16T10:25:00.001+08:00

A day has 24 hours..

but a day with you has only 6 hours..

worse still.. a day without you has 48 hours..

a single word from you.. can make my day..
or spoilt my day..
i am totally under control..
just like a little robot..
unable to do anything of my own accord..

Ping Pang Piang..!!!

2010-10-13T23:32:00.000+08:00

Totally memerisze by her..
the moment i close my eyes..
all i see is her..
all i wan it her..

whats wrong with me?
am i going crazy?
i dunno if this meant that i am very serious this time?
i never recalled anything like this happened..
not even when my granny died and i miss her like mad..
thou when she died i did cried every night..
but its not like this..
this is totally a form of bless and torture?
bless to see her.. yet a torture.. cause its not her?

dunno what i am saying..
just love her..
going to do whatever i can for her..
even if she doesnt want me..
thats all i can do..

Decisions..

2010-10-13T00:37:00.002+08:00

Dunno if i made a right choice..
thou it was a hasty one..
but i think.. as long as it makes u happy..
anything is worth the exchange?

guess that is the first time i ever do something like this..
so unselfish for the first time..
give my part of happiness away just to make you feel better..
really a miracle..
cant believe i did that for you..

*just goes to show how much you mean to me*

<3 TokTok

Tagline

2010-10-11T21:49:00.004+08:00

Today..
i got myself a tagline that i am going to use.. for like dunno how long.. perhaps years..

which is

我爱卓慧敏 <3

Timing

2010-10-09T16:40:00.002+08:00

Was it a right time to say that...?

or i should have waited for a better moment..?
Guess only you know the answers..
Tell me if i really made it worse for you..
and if i made it better.. do let me know too..

i wanna try to do my best.. not for anything.. but for you..

Wondering..

2010-10-06T12:27:00.001+08:00

I cant really stop myself..

i just hope you would text me..
even if its just a goodnight text.. guess it would make my days better..

cause its from you..

Confused..

2010-10-02T00:01:00.002+08:00

Am i doing the right thing?

does it really make things better for you?
i really do not know if its good for you? or is it just getting worse..
i find myself useless..
not only am i timid..
i cant help in anyway..

SAVE ME..!!

Happy Yet Sad

2010-09-23T23:00:00.001+08:00

I am glad.. that i make it into the POL-ITE team..

but there isn't anyone i can share the joy with..
it kinda drop my mood down to the rock bottom..

Maybe.. Maybe.. if just a little text.. will revive my mood..

Gosh Gosh

2010-09-18T23:38:00.002+08:00

wat a trip..
it just seems that everything pass so quickly..

wish time could travel back..
i would have done alot of things differently..
sometimes just wish i ain't that afraid..

guess my pals are right..
i am afraid of nothing.. but humans..
what a phrase that got into my life 8 years ago..
and its still here.. stuck with me..

dunno if i am ever able to get it off before i even dies..
hopefully.. i could.. cause i really wish to get a little bit of time..
just a bit.. even if its just 15 mins.. i tink its worth anything that i could give in exchange.. even if i have to amputate my limbs.. I can only pray that either i get kinda daring somedays.. or it just happen out of miracle..

A happy trip.. ended sadly when i am back home.. thinking about all the chances i have missed out..
but to be honest.. its a nice trip.. thanks all.. who made it nice for me.. but i gotta keep it a secret..
i really cant say a single thing.. cause i dont wanna feel awkward and uneasy.. it will just create an unwanting atmosphere..

Hope you will notice it.. somehow.. someways.. i just cant get to u.. i am just nothing but a weakling..

WTF?

2010-07-23T22:37:00.000+08:00

Guess i just cant spare anytime for anyone...
should just live my life alone..

dont bother anyone...
please..
Ryouji, dont care about anyone!!!

new start?

2010-07-16T01:46:00.001+08:00

hopefully it will change ba.. after revealing myself.. hopefully it wont toughen up the skins..

Guess this is it...

2010-06-30T00:18:00.002+08:00

I really cant take back any le..

I am all out..

hope that you wont waste my efforts..
I wish i have a happy ending like all fairytales.

I wonder

2010-06-27T15:03:00.001+08:00

I wonder if i am making the right choice to always give in...

is making attempts to meet you a mistake?
is approaching a fault?

or would you rather that i am would keep quiet and do nothing till you said something?

Changing Point..?

2010-05-19T00:37:00.001+08:00

Hopefully it made a difference..

just pray hard that it does.. =)

Kinda Hate mankinds..

2010-05-10T21:14:00.002+08:00

When you don't talk.. they say you are too quiet..
when you talk.. they say you are too noisy..
when you don't tell them the bad things.. they say you are not honest..
when you tell them the bad things.. they say you are teasing them
When you don't tell them their nice characters.. they say you don't appreciate them..
when you tell them their nice characters.. they say you are sweet-talking/boot-licking..

Gosh.. why am i a human?

what do humans really want?

Just there...

2010-04-29T09:09:00.001+08:00

Guess i am just here for the sake of being here...

really? does it matters if i am not here after all?
dont think it will affect anyone.. i am just like a spector.. not having any influence at all..

perhaps.. just perhaps

2010-04-19T22:48:00.002+08:00

maybe i was right after all..

i am not cut out to study.. i cant take the environment, the communication, the amount of boredom..

just hope time pass quickly..

EDIT: COME ON.. I hate people who add me and tell me. hey u remember me ma? and yet.. dont wanna say who they are..
please. i dont have superb memory... i cant remember every single thing of each and everyone.. zzzz

Physically here..

2010-04-03T21:31:00.002+08:00

This is my quote for the next year i guess.. will be sub-consciously in my brain, soul and heart...

misses alot of people.. the kids, the local guides, the people..

i would love to be part of their villages. wish i could migrate there..
got a sudden urge to go back there every month... but its impossible.. i am unable to sustain that kind of expenses..
guess this is just life.. showing u something nice.. but only for a while.. nothing really last..

Quote for the next month

2010-03-16T16:10:00.001+08:00

Since when did age matter when it comes to love? Are you trying to tell me that a 4 year old kid doesn't love his mother because he's too young to know what love is?

I feel that age doesn't matter in love. And that love has no definition. Love is an emotion, it's how you feel about someone. You don't have a reason for loving someone. You just do. And trust me, love is the greatest feeling in the world. It makes you feel light-headed and dizzy till you feel as though you're floating in space. It makes you feel all warm and tingly inside. You smile whenever you think of him/her and he/her is constantly on your mind without fail everyday. Whenever he/her doesn't reply to your messages you would feel as though you've lost your mind and call him/her immediately to check if they're alright.

my quote of the day..

Bad Timing

2010-03-14T04:45:00.001+08:00

What a time.. and i am thinking of going down to take some shots.. guess i am just too alert now..

wats wrong with me? am i really going crazy?

woot happy day... =)

2010-02-28T01:40:00.003+08:00

When its times... things just comes.. =)

just hope it lingers for a moment before it goes..

always had too much.. now i need more?

2010-02-18T16:18:00.002+08:00

time.. once passes never returns..
guess i finally understood the importance of time..
after 19 years of having too much time and nth to do..
this is the first time that i find that i got so much to do.. yet.. not enough time...
hope it will give me more time before i cannot do anything about it anymore..
17-yr-old-nerd.. gimme more time..

Dumb Dumb

2010-02-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

wat a dumb ass i was. so bad at all of it..

hopefully i could get the hang of it soon..
so that everything would turn out better..

Rainbows after the rain..

2010-02-04T20:34:00.002+08:00

rainbows are finally out.. even if its only for a moment.. i appreciate it..

Thanks for making my day.. Guess you wont know it means that much to me.. thou it may just seems like another natural reactions or responses of yours..

it makes a huge difference to me..

sleepless

2010-02-04T02:39:00.001+08:00

think i am not going to sleep again tonight..
guess this is just my life.. sleepless.

perhaps it is just telling me not to go gym tml..
i dunno if i am making right choices..

hope everything will turn out good.. =))

Sad Day

2010-01-29T00:49:00.002+08:00

What an unlucky day..

got myself more rest time.. lol

hope i wont get disfigured ba.. =((

BRAGS

2010-01-21T13:29:00.002+08:00

hopefully.. we could find a few SIT gals who are willing to play ba.. if not..

we are not going to be participating.. and thus the champs.. SIT last year.. is out without even a struggle.. lol

Sometimes... Sometimes...

2010-01-18T05:46:00.000+08:00

Sometimes just wish everything could stop at tat moment.. Stays forever.. But times and again, i just hope it pass quickly.. 我真的很累了。

maybe.. maybe.. maybe..

2010-01-14T12:14:00.002+08:00

maybe all the truth are supposed to be kept..

and all the falses and lies are to be surfaced...

maybe.. maybe.. maybe..

i should start to keep the truth and tell the lies..

Thanks to all

2010-01-03T20:40:00.001+08:00

Really thanks to all who accompany since 30th dec to today...

it was a wonderful fews days that i ever had i guess..

Thanks.. really..
guess i dont wan to name all of you out.. cause there are alot of you..

those who really did something... know they did..
=)

is this really what i want?

2009-12-31T00:05:00.001+08:00

is this wat i always wanted?

am i doing wat i feel like doing?

guess i am just letting time passes on its own..
pulling me along with it..

Just because i look blur doesnt mean i am blur

2009-12-23T14:54:00.003+08:00

Does people always take looks for wat a person is?

guess this really makes me feel so much better den..

maybe i am meant to be bornt this way.. just like this..

Sleepy

2009-12-07T21:44:00.000+08:00

Wat a day where i overslept and didnt go sch again.. zomg...

if only i have less time a day..
really dunno wat i can spend my time on..
so much time in the day.. nth to do..

guess sometimes i should really sleep my life away...

Sadden

2009-11-26T09:24:00.001+08:00

Awww.. injured again..

gotta take a break from tough trainings again.. =((

kinda sad.. afraid tat i wont be able to catch up..

GOSH.. wat a time it came at.. zzz

damn it

2009-11-20T01:25:00.001+08:00

Cant sleep well..

worry so much..

hope everything will be alright..

Blessful

2009-11-18T00:34:00.001+08:00

For once, i feel so good..

improvements are being appreciated, actions done are being wanted..

just hope it does not wake up as a nightmare!

Gone with the Wind

2009-11-12T22:01:00.002+08:00

Once again.. i am down.. back to my well of darkness..

i dunno why am i always looked down on..

am i really tat bad?

To be or not to be?

2009-11-08T23:56:00.001+08:00

Am i suppose to just concentrate on one thing at a time?
are males really so bad at multi tasking?

so which am i suppose to do first?
which is more impt?

am i going to go crazy? Perhaps soon..

just hope.. i will get some inspirations soon..

Down in the drain

2009-11-03T23:03:00.003+08:00

For the first time ever, i tink of quiting sch today.. zzzz

i dont like how i am graded.. i dont deserves those lousy grades..
i know all the info, can reason well with all my points..
just because i know too much, i am downgrade for not asking question? wat a good excuse..
cant someone know and dont ask.. if u know and yet u ask.. arent u wasting other people time?

So this is wat RP teaches u... Ask.. even if u know.. u gotta waste people's time.. dont give them spare time.. just keep asking... even if its irrelevant..

sucks!

Schooling!

2009-11-02T10:23:00.001+08:00

first time i woke up at 6am.. for sch? lol

was still aching from the training on thurs.. zzz damn ass..

dunno wats wrong.. tink my muscles recovery rate too slow le.. aging le.. lol

hopefully next training i can play my own style ba..

havent been in my own style for all the trainings? perhaps just one or two times.. yeah..
so sucky to try and cope with others' playing style.. just not used to it.. zzz..

Sianzzz

2009-10-22T23:44:00.003+08:00

at first i thought my backache was bad...

den came my lappy crashing off

I thought it is bad enough..

now.. i just found out.. i got cheated on again.. am i such an easy target? how come i am always being bullied or cheated? i always lose in a arguement, always give in.. yet all i get.. is being taken advantage of..

wish i had never been born.. really so.. hais.. for the first time.. i tink i am going to have swollen eyes.. hais..

A weekend to look forward to!

2009-10-15T15:18:00.003+08:00

Woah... long time no post.. =))

In school now.. after presentation.. so boring.. during my presentation.. not allowed to talk.. faci scare i answer all the questions or query.. so dont allow me to talk.. zzz boring sia...

Going to enjoy my SAT!!! woot... ECP here i come..! =X
Most probably Sunday will either be helping out with PAPA smurf or being my 100% Nanny DAD again.. lol.. its going to be entertaining either case it goes..

hopefully will rain later.. till about 9pm.. den no need training..

have been so bored in class that got no mood to write anything..

yet. the person hasn't stop the inconsiderate act that has been done since the first day of school..
Hopefully.. i wont be so suay ba.. really hate it.. sucky!

So tired during training sia.. today coach a bit too happy i tink.. gordon came back and its at outdoor... keep running and running and running.. now my legs like jelly la.. first time my jersey so wet.. zzz.. dripping when i running.. zzz.. horrible..

finally know why is gordon such a gd player.. one really got to be close up in order know how good he really is..

gossiped day..

2009-10-05T09:28:00.003+08:00

wat a day.. first thing i come in class.. see people gossiping about my bad stuffs..

cant u all be more quiet? gals are just gals..

i hate classes like tat.. u wan.. u gossip at home la.. spoilt my day sia.. zzz

and the faci.... my "favourite" sia.. zzzz.. another shoot kia.. sucks..

better go check my rest of classes.. tink will repeat module again le lo.. zzzz.. wat a sucky year for me.. thought second sem will be better.. but.. ended up.. i tink will be worse..... hais.. sucky..

busy weekend

2009-10-04T08:35:00.001+08:00

woah.. was so occupied since thurs.. havent been so busy for so long...

was kinda tired.. but good.. at least i wont feel bored and emo so much.. keke

am packing up my stuff now.. keke.. hopefully today will go well too.. if not.. i will be so dead.. =X

What a week..

2009-09-21T22:37:00.000+08:00

Oh... blessed myself.. at least nth bad happen this week.. feel less stressful..

having irregular sleep.... unknown reasons...
somedays.. i sleep for the whole day..
somedays i cant sleep even if its already the next morning/afternoon..
guess this is me.. my old self.. =)

really hope i would have another week for me to look forward to.. not much motivation to study for my BTT.. havent even take out the book.. so not even a chance to flip it yet.. keke..

training again tml morning.. hope i could sleep later on.. if not i will be having troubles getting up..
hopefully, the year 3s will come by again tml.. i enjoy playing with them more.. a much better matched up standard ba.. style also more adaptable for me.. yeah..

Not for the faint hearted..

2009-09-11T02:22:00.010+08:00

Guess it's time i do something about it..

i am about to breakdown..

all the nonsense.. i had enough

why give me life when i dont even wan it.. its a torture.. mental torture..

lets just ignore how much it is going to hurt me mentally... the pressure itself is unbearable..

i am just another going-on-19 young adults like any.. yet.. i dont feel that i am going-on-19... i felt that i would have been 50 soon.. maybe i am really fated to die young.. like i always joke about that i will die at the age of 23.. i really hope i do thou..

i cant imagine wat is coming up for me.. maybe i should have just be a quiet and do-nothing-unless-you-tell-me kind of person.. being commentless, no opinion, no recommendation..

what is the point of being the best if you arent happy when you are at the top?

i sometime really wonder.. how people become so ruthless in order to be at the top.. maybe not ruthless.. maybe i should say it is how they make themselves feel good about it.. i dont feel gd when people put me up.. i feel uneasy, stress, dont feel like continuing wat i am doing.. i really dunno wat is so good about being at the top.. maybe i am just another idiot who have brain damage.. since wat i wan really differs me from the average mankind..

havent felt so sucky for 2 years plus le.. guess i am going to live my old life again.. back to those that i am never home when someone is awake.. and never awake before everyone is out..

maybe nobody cares.. but i guess i need to tell my bloggie this..
while typing this whole post.. my face.. expressionless.. the same old look that people use to see 3 years ago.. the dead face.. no expression, no smile, just 2 lines as eyes.. look dead, robotic..

everything came at the same time.. i cant handle all this emotions.. my brain.. honestly.. is almost half dead.. i can no longer give facial expression nor cry.. the nerves.. have overworked.. it just wont do anything to make me feel better anymore..

i guess the whole post is in a mess.. maybe the sequence will make people go giddy.. but i guess tats the result of being half brain dead.. i apologise for it.. sorry all the readers.. make u feel so stupid to read such a long and messy post..

sometimes,

I just wished

I weren't bornt!

Cheated

2009-08-31T19:12:00.000+08:00

Am i such a easy target to be lied? why must always lie to me? i feel damn furious....

why people cant be more honest? Yes den yes la.. no den no... can den can.. cannot den cannot.. why must give another answer which you cant do? waste people time and effort..

feel damn sucky.. i must be such an easy target to cheat on... everyone seems to be telling me lies.. nothing gd enough for me to trust anymore... =((

maybe i really shouldnt depend on other or socialise at all ba.. =((

WTF?

2009-08-21T00:39:00.004+08:00

for the first time. i believe that u can do something wrong without noticing.. serious big problem..

i only know i did it after i ask the person next to me.. wtf?
i really dunno how come i dont feel or dont sense anything.. dont even know that i did it?

maybe it's a side effect of too much physically balling ba.. skin, heart, brain, nerves all dead.. cant feel or sense anything..

kinda tired.. but dont feel like sleeping.. dunno wat to do.. everyday i am so lonely.. doing nothing.. alone at home.. stare at my lappy screen.. if not.. at the playground outside.. with no one at it..

maybe i am supposed to reflect and think ba.. hopefully i could get a obtainable aim soon.... if not i will be just wasting my life like nobody business..

Wish i could just sleep my day off

2009-08-15T10:02:00.001+08:00

wat a bad omen.. waking up early in the morning.. this means i got difficulty sleeping later on in the day.. =((

hopefully things will turn out better..

Sucks

2009-08-15T00:02:00.002+08:00

i hate communicating.. it always sucks.. i guess i should just MIA till someone really needs me for some very gd reasons..

chatting, talking, smsing.. all sucks.. how i wish human can not talk and just do their own stuff.. hate nosy people.. who try to pry and poke every single detail out..

luckily weekend is coming.. i dont have to see anyone. can just stay at home and sleep my weekends off.. tats the best way to spend my weekends.... i really got to stop talking.. everytime i talk.. sure got problem.. guess its me..

yeah. indeed. i am such a noob.. i still love training most.. dont need to talk.. all actions.. i starting to like my teammates quite a bit.. even the stern looking ah ben.. thou i can sense that he doesnt really like me a lot.. but at least we dont quarrel or argue over stuffs.. we play the game in our own ways but still.. respect each others methods of playing.. guess this is how i should describe ba.. sometimes i really wonders.. how come gals cant be like guys.. be less nosy, less gossipy.. and do more..

Actions speaks Louder den words..

sorry papa smurf.. if u need me for anything.. u know how to find me yea.. but i guess i wont be joining u peeps for gathering or party.. till i feel tat i am ready ba..

MIA time..

hopefully i will still blog while MIAing.. depends on my mood, time and wat i doing ba..

Old Man arrival..

2009-08-12T22:58:00.000+08:00

Somehow.. i feel so old.. so useless le.. do a bit of exercise den cramps, den sprain ankle again.. =( and worse still.. both calf also cramp.. zzz wtf sia? no longer de super duper fit me.. can run for one whole day around basketball court without problems..

Hopefully i will do better in future trainings ba.. if not maybe will drag down teammates... hais.. hate myself.. for gaining so much weight and not keeping my muscles with it.. =(

everyday to me.. has been a wastage.. really bored.. always dunno wat to do when i woke up.. den trying calling potato see he got go sch bo.. if he never go sch.. at least we can slack around.. if he is in sch.. den i do nth for the whole day le.. at home emo, idle, stare around, etc.. really dunno why my life so boring...

guess its my fault ba.. i am always emo, quiet and dunno how to communicate well.. thus not much people will really ask me out or keep me company when i need them to..

i am going to eat eat and eat. eat more and exercise more.. hopefully friday wont cramp again.. if not high.. and hope my ankle not so swollen also.. if not cannot bend towards left side.. den alot of restriction le.. hais.. never going to wear low cut for training anymore.. it sucks..

wo hen ji mo.. hen ji mo.. =((

i am serious.. not just reading lines.. i tink i am stuck inside the scene le.. =(

Wasted weekends...

2009-08-09T10:43:00.001+08:00

As Usual.. my weekends.. wasted.. nothing fun, nothing entertaining... really hope i get to go out with her.. thou its almost like impossible.. but nvm.. guess this is life.. some are urs.. some are not..

No motivation to exercise.. not at the least.. have been quite slack.. unsure of reasons.. maybe just not in the right mood.. hopefully protein shakes could help me with it ba.. den can do less, gain more...

really wan just a msg from her now.. kinda hard to get that yupp.. =(

i really should go reflect and see for myself..

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight
Back at me?
Why is my reflection someone
I don't know?
Somehow I cannot hide
Who I am
Though I've tried
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

another sleep away day.

2009-08-07T17:28:00.000+08:00

slept from last night till about now.. yeah... going off to exercise le.. going to grow fat and not fit.. dead.. so boring.. feel so lifeless! arghss

this is what i always get...

2009-08-06T09:22:00.002+08:00

Again.. boycotted.. unsure of why.. havent been talking much in class.. never do much.. yet.. nobody bother.. i am just like invisible.. only the faci have the eyes to see the invisible man.. guess i am just the kind of people who offend people even with just my eyes or face ba.. =(

yesterday went to watch POL-ITE again.. ok.. guess it was kinda nice to watch them play.. since alot of RP's ballers are in year 3.. so are many in NP.. wont get to see them next year..

hopefully i can get into a much bigger size soon.. kinda exercise quite a lot recently.. hope to gain weight and size den can be a much more threat to opponent teams..

watching the games...

2009-08-03T16:21:00.000+08:00

will be going back to sch to watch the POL-ITE today.. hopefully TP vs SP will be a nice one. if not.. i tink the rest of the matches are not at the least competetive. since it is most probably a one sided game..

hope someone will accompany me there to watch.. but i doubt.. will post more when i am home later..

Back to blogging..

2009-07-31T12:57:00.000+08:00

After quite sometime.. at last i am back..

huge numbers of UPs and DOWNs recently.. shall not mention about it..

Aww kinda sad since RP got last place for POL-ITE basketball.. worse than last year.. i tink mainly due to crazy frog.. who is no longer in RP.. and also.. the average size of RP starters.. compared to last year.. dropped alot..

Sadly.. i missed the trials during my year one.. and i dont tink there is anyway i can get in by now.. rofl.. since i dunno anyone in there..

hopefully RP wont lose to Combine ITE next year ba.. its kinda a shame.. since they dont train tgt that often as they are from different ITE but yet.. lost.. this proves tat not only players's skill that are weaker. basically RP team is not nicely trained.. CAOZ xD

post more later on.. if i got the mood to..

wat a day

2009-07-24T09:30:00.002+08:00

great on coming.. i dunno why.. just feel tat this weekend its gonna be better.. =)

seems like a turn around point since i joined papa smurf.. kinda glad tat i agreed to it when he help me 'register' for the auditions.. hopefully things will continue to go this direction.. since its gd.. =X

ok.. dragged myself to school today.. kinda dont wanna wake up.. from 7.30am drag till 8.. den 8 draag till 8.15 den wake up.. cause no choice.. if dont wake up den late le. rofl..
hate today de class. damn bored and lengthy.. like listen to some mother nagging like tat.. and i didnt manage to get back my mp3 player from my classmate since he isnt here.. kinda stupid.. =X forgot to bring it home yesterday. dumb me.. zzz

No more Papa Smurf to protect me for the next two weeks or so.. gotta keep myself under control.. if not trouble rolls on.

just another day

2009-07-23T10:43:00.001+08:00

another day in my life.. wat a piggy day.. sleep, slack sleep slack.. all i do is relax and rub my tummy.. gonna have sore throat soon.. hopefully wont be sick again.. damn irritating. this weekend i am free.. hopefully someone will ask me out.. =)

Happy Arrival

2009-07-17T15:00:00.002+08:00

quite glad today, slack in sch, eat alot, and later going to ball.. kinda glad this weekend is coming and quite occupy.. no more idling weekends.. hopefully will be fun-filled ba..

school always seems so bored.. nothing to do.. problem statements are always so easy to solve.. waste my time to sch.. but had to attend due to dismissal problems.. zzz.. wish sch can give me some challanging problems in order to work my rusty brain.. going to spoilt le.. zzz

Wish someone will ask me out on sat afternoon. i am free on sat afternoon.. hopefully i got sleep tonight. if not tomorrow afternoon will be sleeping le.. den not free le.. =X
PS: you all should know i love my bed alot.. sleeps more than 12 hours a day unless got very important things to do.. like perhaps.. meeting her.. =X only if she will ask me out ba.. hais..

kk.. pack up.. time to go home lo!.. rofl.. song bo.. go home eat eat eat den go balling! woot.. btw.. i just found out... the crazy frog, tay chong wee.. idiot sia.. shuttle run so fast.. kns. RP's record holder.. 8.36 seconds.. imbal fast.. chee bye.. ! =PP

Dragged..

2009-07-16T09:19:00.003+08:00

HAULED myself to school today.. my whole body dont feel like moving or even crawling up from bed in the morning.. but due to my red warning letter, i must at least attend 3 of 4 lessons a week.. if not dismissed from school le..

aiyoyo.. somehow i wish time passes quickly, and now is the end of semster.. i would be glad to start semster two as soon as possible. faster end up year 2.. zzz..
and i just notice my CE points only 13 sia.. zzz.. die big time..

kinda bored..

wish she would ask me out.. kinda miss her.. unknown reason unknown purpose.. sometimes really should bang my head on the wall to clear up my brain.. zzz

thats all for now.. maybe will update later on.. =(

Again!

2009-07-14T08:48:00.002+08:00

Pontent again.. zzz cause i really woke up late.. guess its due to last nite.. couldnt get to bed no matter wat. cant sleep! zzz.. hopefully she will ask me out.. havent get to see her for awhile.. kinda uneasy.. hope she is all-well ba..

Idiotic me... usual..

2009-07-12T01:34:00.002+08:00

firstly.. to state a few facts..

Once an idiot forever an idiot.
Loners never become popular.

Kinda Sad this few days.. without her contacting me.. its already one bad thing.. falling out with some of my old friends.. its kinda sucky to really live in the world having so many people demanding so many things from me at a time.. i really dunno wat to do.. i need my own space too.. i dunno wat everyone think of me. but i dont really bother do i? i only wan do wat i wan.. dont force me.. please..

Back after long while

2009-07-07T21:23:00.002+08:00

havent been blogging for long time.. back to blog... dunno if anyone bothers to read.. Recently, has been boring around my life, wasting life..

was kind of wishing someone will ask me out, however.. nobody seems to notice that i am waiting for people to ask me.. hais.. guess maybe i am not of any importance to anyone ba..

kinda moody when i am writing this particular post, sometime wishing that i can always find things to occupy my time, making me feel less moody. perhaps, there are only a few person capable ba.. but i doubt they willl do anything even if they do know they could help.. =(

sadden

2009-06-28T11:17:00.000+08:00

wat a bad day.. firstly.. woke up late.. thought going to miss alot of tcp's filming.. den after tat.. when walking to mrt station, sms came.. saying something cropped up.. no need go le.. totally flushed off.. turn me off.. couldnt see her again.. sometimes i wish i stay near her.. or even am close to her..

Tiring day

2009-06-27T23:55:00.002+08:00

Lack of sleep the day before.. yet.. manage to wake up early due to commitments..
A totally wasted day.. idling around admiralty.. dunno doing wat.. kinda tired.. sleepy.. tomorrow will be the first time going to see the filming scene.. hope its fun.. wanna see her alot too.. miss her lots.. she havent been replying my sms.. she doesnt like chatting on msn with me too.. maybe i irritate her.. i dunno..

Miracle

2009-06-23T23:18:00.000+08:00

What a day.. i actually went to school after such a moody period of pontenting.. anyway.. its a nice thing.. suppose to be celebrating. HOWEVER, the naughty me.. zao off again.. and now is home again.. blogging.. just to make myself feel less lonely.. i love talking to my self generally.. dunnno why.. tink i am half crazy le.. =)) glad tat it is happening soon.. =)) go crazy den wont tink too much le. keke

second update of this post.. feeling so emo. everyday go do things alone.. do this alone do tat alone. really wish she will be here for me.. even like once a week or once a fornight, would make me feel so much better.. i really envy people who have a caring and nice gal. who you are able to shower her with ur love.. but i cant... i am just another idiot...

guess i am really bornt a loser.. everything i do.. i fail.. no matter wat.. i cant seems to get anything right.. maybe its time for me to be a lonely person and learn from watching perhaps.. or maybe even clear everything off my mind with a brainwash.. hopefully i can get one soon..

Wierdo Mood

2009-06-22T14:29:00.001+08:00

Feeling kinda of wierd recently, no motivation to go sch, no motivation to do anything except finding her, smsing her and waiting for her to online.. wish that she know how i am feeling.. but i guess she also worried.. she dont like it this way i guess..

sometimes i wish i am not born.. maybe as a dog or a plant will be better.. or maybe even as a dead object.. dunno wat am i supposed to do.. feel so aimless.. feel lifeless.. and always get cheated on.. people always cheat me.. which hurts me.. and they dunno it does.. i tends to have the first level of trust very easily.. and people dont know that.. they always seems to dont care how i feel.. i guess maybe i should just ignore everyone..

Piggy's first time blogging

2009-06-21T09:12:00.000+08:00

Supposingly, i dont think anyone should be reading this.. Thus, it doesn't matter if i am writing out words from the bottom of my heart here...

Today, i dunno wat came over me.. to make my create a blog and actually blog in it... i guess is the amount of stress and stoning that have made me tink and tink ba.. lol.. maybe its better to have it all said out here.. rather den telling someone about it.. since i always believe.. no one in this world is totally trustworthy enough to tell the secrets of the secrets.

OKAY... main topic.. muahahaha.. alot of censored parts actually.. but just gotta write it out anyway.. whoever knows me.. and see it.. should feel damn shocked maybe?

recently, i have been troubling whether is a bunch of friendship or relationship more important. is it nice to reduce tons of friendship just for a relationship? or is not having a relationship benefits me more? I feel really sorry for her.. cause i like her.. yet i cant let her know.. and i dont dare to go near her nor talk much to her in front of our friends.. i guess i am afraid.. since i haven't approach any gals for quite sometime.. and i always am a nervous wreck by default.. and when i am physically near her.. i feel the kind of tension inside me.. feeling scared.. afraid.. maybe i am just stupid.. i ain't have any self confidence when facing her.. i feel damn stupid damn weak.. ok i am weak by nature.. hopefully nobody knows who i am refering to.. since i believe anyone who knows me.. and see this.. definately will say it out de.. hais.. wat a bad friend i am.. bad-mouthing my frens here..

Do i sucks? do i irritate u? let me know wat u tink about me.. i wish i can always be there when you are lonely.. but i dunno how to let u know that i am ready to be there.. i dont mind skipping trainings, skipping schools, or even last min cancel meeting up with friends just to be there to keep u company.. i haven't felt like this for damn long le.. i guess its just part and parcel of life ba..

Hopefully my mood will get better after balling later on at night..
ok off to bed.. haven't slept since i am back from Brian's house.