Piggy's first time blogging

Supposingly, i dont think anyone should be reading this.. Thus, it doesn't matter if i am writing out words from the bottom of my heart here...


Today, i dunno wat came over me.. to make my create a blog and actually blog in it... i guess is the amount of stress and stoning that have made me tink and tink ba.. lol.. maybe its better to have it all said out here.. rather den telling someone about it.. since i always believe.. no one in this world is totally trustworthy enough to tell the secrets of the secrets.


OKAY... main topic.. muahahaha.. alot of censored parts actually.. but just gotta write it out anyway.. whoever knows me.. and see it.. should feel damn shocked maybe?

recently, i have been troubling whether is a bunch of friendship or relationship more important. is it nice to reduce tons of friendship just for a relationship? or is not having a relationship benefits me more? I feel really sorry for her.. cause i like her.. yet i cant let her know.. and i dont dare to go near her nor talk much to her in front of our friends.. i guess i am afraid.. since i haven't approach any gals for quite sometime.. and i always am a nervous wreck by default.. and when i am physically near her.. i feel the kind of tension inside me.. feeling scared.. afraid.. maybe i am just stupid.. i ain't have any self confidence when facing her.. i feel damn stupid damn weak.. ok i am weak by nature.. hopefully nobody knows who i am refering to.. since i believe anyone who knows me.. and see this.. definately will say it out de.. hais.. wat a bad friend i am.. bad-mouthing my frens here..

Do i sucks? do i irritate u? let me know wat u tink about me.. i wish i can always be there when you are lonely.. but i dunno how to let u know that i am ready to be there.. i dont mind skipping trainings, skipping schools, or even last min cancel meeting up with friends just to be there to keep u company.. i haven't felt like this for damn long le.. i guess its just part and parcel of life ba..

Hopefully my mood will get better after balling later on at night..
ok off to bed.. haven't slept since i am back from Brian's house.